W E L C O M E T O AIUEMOCHA P A G E' S
it's the real me and you will know how the real i am
Hallo :)
Right now, not all of you who read my blogs are strangers. The stranger one is me. I feel, i'm a stranger who entering someone house. Then, i try to live in. That's my feelings.
It is my first writing in this year. It's been 3rd months since we start 2012. Yes, i've been busy. Busy with my self. Busy with another social media. Busy with Twitter that has a limit to write just 140 character. Busy solving my problems. Busy this and that. Anything that keep going in the life.
Honestly, i misses a lot of thing. A LOT! I misses home, i misses family, i misses people who ever been with me, i misses everything that i ever done. I misses everything that ever happen in my life. Especially, the good memories.
Year changes, people changes. Environment changes, attitude changes. Habit changes, everything changes.
I hate about this changes. But this is the one that make us keep going through our life.
I hate to moan. Because i was born to not doing it. What ever happen, life still keep going.
Sky will not change its color even you are happy or not.
This year, i've seen a lot of people come and go.
And previous year i've learned a lot of precious thing.
Everyday we learn. Yeah, that's the point!
Another thing, i hate to leave and leaving by someone. I mean, separated.
I have one of my best friend, who really took a care of me. I love her, she was my best friend since we were in the same class in high school. But, the distance make everything different. She have a new friends. She live in a good country. She make a friend with glamour peoples. She had a western (ex) boyfriend. Right now, she have a new hobby. Clubbing :|
*Sigh* That's just a simple example, what's happening in my life and what's the changes.
I love her, when we were together. I love her when we did stupidity things together. I love her when she cooked something and she always told me to try. I love her with her ordinary life. I love her when she came to my home and had a conversation with my family. I love her whenever i need to study, she always be there to help me. Moreover, she treated me if i don't have money.
I miss the old you... :(
I miss the old US.... :(
I miss the old US.... :(
One thing that makes me disappointed, this year you didn't celebrate me at my birthday. Not a single words of "Happy Birthday" :( I know, maybe i don't have any right anymore of your life. But, that words so mean to me. To our friendship. *Sigh*
It's okay, maybe just me the one who always understand. I know you are so high class right now, and you are obviously busy with your own happiness :)
Hmmmh... I don't even know what i have to write. I miss a lot of thing.
People changes, but memories not.
Feeling down, alone, and empty inside,
Decisions to make, but can't decide,
Hurt from pain of a broken heart,
Days go on as if they are dark,
Looking for happiness, the light to return,
My soul feels empty, deceptive, a burn....
komen deh
(0)
Decisions to make, but can't decide,
Hurt from pain of a broken heart,
Days go on as if they are dark,
Looking for happiness, the light to return,
My soul feels empty, deceptive, a burn....
I thought you would never leave me
I thought you would never lie,
I wish I could just die.
How could you play me this way?
Why would you not tell me instead?
You should had set me free and just let me be!
How could you live with yourself?
How could you look at her face and tell her that you love her?
when you know you should of just told her.
Why drag me along, when you know you were wrong?
You told me you loved me, you told me that you cared.
I believed you because I was scared.
Afraid to loose my lover, not knowing it was all over.
Where was she all this time, when I was sure you were mine?
You promised her eternity, but you could not give me an alternative.
Why would you mark me this way,
you have left a stain that shames my last name.
Because my love for you was so strong.
I thought I could never hate you but I guess I was wrong,
All I can do now is sit and analyze
And hope one day you would realize.
That I did not deserve this and you should have told me.
Today I move on with a heart made of stone,
All I can say I wish I had known.
komen deh
(0)
I thought you would never lie,
I wish I could just die.
How could you play me this way?
Why would you not tell me instead?
You should had set me free and just let me be!
How could you live with yourself?
How could you look at her face and tell her that you love her?
when you know you should of just told her.
Why drag me along, when you know you were wrong?
You told me you loved me, you told me that you cared.
I believed you because I was scared.
Afraid to loose my lover, not knowing it was all over.
Where was she all this time, when I was sure you were mine?
You promised her eternity, but you could not give me an alternative.
Why would you mark me this way,
you have left a stain that shames my last name.
Because my love for you was so strong.
I thought I could never hate you but I guess I was wrong,
All I can do now is sit and analyze
And hope one day you would realize.
That I did not deserve this and you should have told me.
Today I move on with a heart made of stone,
All I can say I wish I had known.
That very first day that we met
It's a feeling I'll never forget.
All the experiences that we've shared,
I knew right away that you were rare.
You see, it's hard to find a someone like you,
Usually they're too good to be true.
Though I should've entered with more ration,
But with you I felt so much passion.
I wish those things had never happened.
It feels as though my love's been abandoned.
All I wanted was to make you happy,
So why is it that I have to feel so crappy?
I want nothing more than for us to move on,
But it's so hard now that the trust is gone.
I want to get past this, I really do...
What can I do to make you be true?
My love for you is like an undying flame.
And I once wished for our love to remain.
Do you remember that day, the day that it snowed?
It's the day that I wished for our love to grow.
You hurt me that night, you need to know that you did.
And I need you to know that I can forgive.
But I'm really struggling with trying to forget,
Because I still feel the same as that first day we met.
komen deh
(0)
It's a feeling I'll never forget.
All the experiences that we've shared,
I knew right away that you were rare.
You see, it's hard to find a someone like you,
Usually they're too good to be true.
Though I should've entered with more ration,
But with you I felt so much passion.
I wish those things had never happened.
It feels as though my love's been abandoned.
All I wanted was to make you happy,
So why is it that I have to feel so crappy?
I want nothing more than for us to move on,
But it's so hard now that the trust is gone.
I want to get past this, I really do...
What can I do to make you be true?
My love for you is like an undying flame.
And I once wished for our love to remain.
Do you remember that day, the day that it snowed?
It's the day that I wished for our love to grow.
You hurt me that night, you need to know that you did.
And I need you to know that I can forgive.
But I'm really struggling with trying to forget,
Because I still feel the same as that first day we met.
Crushed like ice
Like twenty tons have been thrown on my soul
You spoke those words that emitted through your vocal cords like venom
A snake you were
Looking through my eyes into my core
So delicately
You devised your plan, to kill everything inside me
Skillfully you weaved your web, planted your trap
And with your love decoy blindfolded my logic
All which was open was my trust
Your weapon
You deceived, I believed
Your arms were so warm,
Now the only warmth I feel
Is that of my blood
Spilling from my soul
As my life swings carelessly
Like a pendulum
Back and forth
Higher and higher
But going nowhere
The 5 senses have gone numb
I scream louder and louder
But no one hears me
They speak they call out to help
I cannot hear
Look at me look at the nothingness you have brought onto me
The well hath run dry
As she lay
Crippled from loves fangs
Until nothing remains
But her backbone
He hath eternally forsaken her
Her life has become
Life's lesson to women
Better to have Loved
Then never at all.
komen deh
(0)
Like twenty tons have been thrown on my soul
You spoke those words that emitted through your vocal cords like venom
A snake you were
Looking through my eyes into my core
So delicately
You devised your plan, to kill everything inside me
Skillfully you weaved your web, planted your trap
And with your love decoy blindfolded my logic
All which was open was my trust
Your weapon
You deceived, I believed
Your arms were so warm,
Now the only warmth I feel
Is that of my blood
Spilling from my soul
As my life swings carelessly
Like a pendulum
Back and forth
Higher and higher
But going nowhere
The 5 senses have gone numb
I scream louder and louder
But no one hears me
They speak they call out to help
I cannot hear
Look at me look at the nothingness you have brought onto me
The well hath run dry
As she lay
Crippled from loves fangs
Until nothing remains
But her backbone
He hath eternally forsaken her
Her life has become
Life's lesson to women
Better to have Loved
Then never at all.
What does forever mean to you?
When you couldn’t even keep it true
You said were you’d forever be there
But were those just words pulled from thin air?
Did you actually love me?
Did you really see the feelings I see?
The truth, the love, the loyal tears
The betrayal, hate, and the fear
I thought you felt the same
That you would cover me in the rain
I thought forever and always was forever
But now there’s not an us…never
You said you’d always be there for me
But now I truly see
That you never saw the feelings in my soul
Now you’ve pierced my heart with a hole
But my heart has healed
Now I have friends that are real
And you're gone out of my life
Unable to pierce me with the heartbreaking knives
I thought forever was forever not just a word
But I guess that’s not what I heard…
komen deh
(0)
When you couldn’t even keep it true
You said were you’d forever be there
But were those just words pulled from thin air?
Did you actually love me?
Did you really see the feelings I see?
The truth, the love, the loyal tears
The betrayal, hate, and the fear
I thought you felt the same
That you would cover me in the rain
I thought forever and always was forever
But now there’s not an us…never
You said you’d always be there for me
But now I truly see
That you never saw the feelings in my soul
Now you’ve pierced my heart with a hole
But my heart has healed
Now I have friends that are real
And you're gone out of my life
Unable to pierce me with the heartbreaking knives
I thought forever was forever not just a word
But I guess that’s not what I heard…
